Closer to Perfection

The closer we get to perfection, the harder it becomes to find good New Year’s resolutions.

Mine is that in the new year I will go to the fitness centre on a regular basis. Like last year – only this time I won’t give us as easily.

Last year everything went well at the beginning. I even got a friend there. John was his name. I used to come in on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays after work. So did John.

One Monday when  I came in John asked, “didn’t they tell you that the centre is reserved for the really tough ones on Mondays?”  I didn’t know. “You didn’t get their email?” he asked. I hadn’t received anything.  Anyway, twice a week would be sufficient for me.

A couple of weeks later, when I came to the centre on a Wednesday, he asked “didn’t you get the mail? Wednesday is now reserved for the handsome and the beautiful? There are too many people coming, and not enough machines.” I had not received the mail, but I decided to come in only on Fridays.

Then one Friday John asked me. “Didn’t you get the mail? Friday is now reserved exclusively for the intelligent. You didn’t get the mail?” I told him I haven’t received anything. “Strange” he said, “very strange, I have received a copy everyday for the last ten days.”

That’s when I decided to give it up. But it will be different this time. There’s a window in the men’s changing room that is almost always open. I will get in that way in case of restrictions. And who knows? After a year of fitness I might be real tough, handsome and intelligent like John.