Always take a bomb

We are going on holiday, me and my wife. And we are going by plane. Normally we go by car, but  this year we are flying. I have always been a little bit afraid of flying. And after we ordered our holiday there have been several accidents and lots of lives have been lost. I am worried.

I talked to Uncle Jack about it.

- Don't worry, it's the safest way to travel, he said.

I was not convinced. I'm afraid a terrorist of some kind will be on board with a bomb.

- What's the probability of that? was his reaction. Think of the thousands of flights everyday. When did you last hear about a bomb on a plane? The probability of someone with a bomb on a plane is extremely small.

I must still have looked dubious, for he added:

- Bring a bomb yourself. The probability of two people bringing a bomb on the same plane is infinitesimal, it is almost non-existent.

Uncle Jack has a solution to every problem.

Mutual Benefit

It was in the early days of tourism. Train lines covered the country, the automobile had made it entrance and more and more people could afford a holiday.

On the west coast of Denmark, in a small fishing village, a small hotel was built, and the wealthy tourists from Copenhagen arrived for their summer vacation. You could tell the tourists from the locals without any problems.

A radio reporter was sent to the place to report on this new phenomenon of tourism on the far away west coast.

"What is there for the tourists to be seen here of extraordinary and amazing things?", he asked an old fisherman.

"Well, for the tourists there are us", he answered, "and for us there are the tourists", he added.

Improve Yourself

I signed a petition today. Don't let the Rich ruin the Riviera! It was a petition against a new marina. A group of people want to build a small harbour, mainly for pleasure craft, in the small village by the sea where we spend our summer holidays. It's incredible. Think of the extra traffic on the roads leading to the village, and think of the coastline where our cottage is. It will never be the same again. And think of the noise of boat engines and people hanging out at the harbour drinking beer till late at night. and what might happen to the value of our cottage. And just now when we have had the swimming pool installed and have started building a garage for the 4 wheel drive.

I signed the petition and accepted to take some sheets to have more people sign the petition. I managed to get a few. It was mostly women signing. But when I asked my wife she wouldn't sign. Her father had a small sailing boat and I guess she has always imagined that some day we might have one too. And the a small harbour in the neighbourhood would come in handy. And I suspect that she thinks that with more people in the village, there will also be more shops.

I also brought the petition round to Uncle Jack for him to sign. "This is you chance to help make the world a little bit better", I said.

He looked at the petition. "The only sure way to improve the world", he said "is for everyone to try to improve his own behaviour and not the behaviour of others."

Special by Choice, Normal by Nature

Paul is a young man. A student.

He is not like everybody else. He listens to fusion jazz, his clothes are from charity shops, by principle he doesn't watch films made in Hollywood, he's a vegetarian, he reads Tolstoy and Dostoevsky. In his free time he studies Icelandic, and he spends his holidays in Denmark. He loves nature (although it is more a moral love of nature than actual contact with the thing itself). He even considers converting to Hinduism or painting his bicycle yellow. He is a truly interesting person.

I met John the other day. Paul is our mutual friend. We were all in the same class in school. I asked John how Paul was doing. "Oh, he's doing fine", John said. I met him a cocktail party a few days ago. He has decided to change from languages to law. There's more money in that he claims. And you wouldn't recognise him. He wears fancy clothes now. He is off to Monaco and the French Riviera tomorrow, for a holiday."

I must have looked a bit perplexed. This didn't sound like the Paul I knew.

"He has a new girlfriend now", John explained. "She studies business administration and her father is a manager in a big company. And she is really beautiful - hot and sexy." 

While you Wait

Bill was about to go to Europe. His parents and their parents and their parents before them had all been farmers in Iowa, and no one had ever travelled outside the US. Or that is, almost no one. His great grandfather had fought in Europe in World War II. He had been with Eisenhower in Operation Husky - the Allied invasion of Sicily. He had be wounded about a month after the invasion and returned to his fathers farm i Iowa.

Bill had promised his great grandfather that he would visit Sicily, the island of which he had heard so many stories, and the beauty of which had been praised by his great grandfather. Before leaving for Europe he went to see his great grandfather in the board and care home where he was now living.

"Can I bring you anything from Europe, anything from Sicily?", he asked the old man. His great grandfather thought for a minute, got up, went to his chest of drawers, opened the top drawer, and started searching. At last he found what he was looking for and went back to where Bill was sitting. In his hand he had a small piece of cardboard. "It is maybe ridiculous", he said, "but when I was in Sicily I took a pair of spare boots to a small shop to have them repaired. I never got the chance to collect them again though. It was a small shop in Agrigento, and the owner was a very nice young man who understood English. They were marvellous boots and I would be very happy to have them back"

He handed Bill the small piece of cardboard. It had a number printed on it and the name and address of a shop (a calzolaio) in Agrigento. Bill was fond of his great grandfather and said that of course he would try to collect the boots, but he knew that it would be impossible.

Nevertheless, a month later he found himself in Agrigento. He remembered the small piece of cardboard his great grandfather had given him. Thanks to his gps he soon found the street marked on the piece of cardboard. It was a narrow alleyway in the old part of town, and much to his surprise he found an old shop with a sign saying "Calzolaio".

He went in. Maybe the owner could tell him something about the previous owners of the shop. At first the shop seemed empty. Then an old man slowly got of from a chair behind the counter. Bill handed him the small piece of cardboard, thinking it could be fun seeing how he would react to it. 

The old man put on his glasses which were hanging in a string around his neck. He looked a the piece of cardboard and slowly made his way out back. He was gone a very long time. Finally he came back. He handed Bill the piece of cardboard and said, "they will be ready Friday".

Happily Discontented

- It's too bad. Most people just doesn't care about animals. All they care about is making money, and then more money. It makes me SO angry. They just don't understand that animals has a soul too. That animals need love.

And she had another sip of tea, and she fed her dog another biscuit.

- And then they charged 50 euro! 50 euro for one hour of work. They just came along with their van and the machine and within an hour they had finished and left. Greed! Greed is the most horrible thing in the world.

And she had another sip of tea, and she fed her dog another biscuit.

- And that lady won 10 million euro! It's not fair. She already owns a house and a convertible. All I have is the house that I inherited from my parents. And a 5-year old Volkswagen. And I won only the second prize in the lottery. Only 1 million euro. It's not fair!

And she had another sip of tea, and she fed her dog another biscuit -

and she lived happily discontented ever after.